The Eternal Bachelor

Marriage is no bed of roses. Your hopes are crushed, your dreams sacrificed, freedoms limited, way of life changed. You are constantly facing one problem after another, if it’s not your partner having mood swings it’s your kids crying all night and keeping you awake.

Then you have to factor in that the person you marry changes over time. They do not stay the same person you were attracted to, they change for better or worse emotionally and physically as your circumstances and lifestyle changes. Such changes do little to help the married couple.

Then there are the heartbreaks that come with marriage. Circumstances or lack of control will cause your partner to cheat on you. Disappointments continuously do you see as you grow and realise that the person you are living with will never truly see things like you do, feel like you do or even appreciate things like you do no matter how much you may try to show them.

When I look at marriage it scares me, cause I see suffering, hurt and pain in such a relationship. And the thing that frightens me the most is that I can do the best I can to make it work and do all things right but it may not be enough as my partner might not try as much or even care about it like I do. There seems to be no winning in this kind of relationship.

So I think to myself. Perhaps it’s best to just stay single. The idea of eternal bachelorhood is very appealing, life is so much simpler when you are single. I won’t have to sacrifice my needs for anyone. There will be no one making plans on my time but me. No one telling me what to do. No one expecting me to be this or be that. No one to disappoint or make cry. No one cheating on me. No worrying about who is shagging my wife when am not there.

I can do whatever I like with my life without worrying about what someone else wants. I can stay at peace from the tortures of heartbreak and frustrations that come with marriage. I won’t be bound to one person for the rest of my life, I won’t be caged or restricted.

Look at the married couples. Only about 40% of marriages are truly happy. Is it worth giving up my peace of mind and way of life for a marriage that will cause me an unlimited amount of grief and heartache? Why bother, why not just be me by myself? At least am used to myself; i can’t hurt myself, disappoint myself or frustrate myself any more than I have already done before and not as much as anyone would do to me. The things that come with marriage are nice I admit; kids, for a while unrestricted sex on the regular, companionship, respect of society, the blessing of God that comes on married people. But is it worth it? I don’t know.

Only thing is that I get lonely and desire the company of a female. If I am not going to marry then the alternative to marriage here would be dating for the rest of my life, one girl after another till the day I die. That thought isn’t so bad at all.

But you know how relationships be. Every once in a while a couple in a relationship tire of chatting and move on to kissing. They then tire of kissing and move on to touching secret places. This eventually progresses to undressing and having sex. So in my case I would probably be going through that with many different women for the rest of my life. That is also appealing, it’s every man’s dream (70% of men anyway) to have sex with as many women as possible.

Unfortunately for me it proves a problem. I have progressed so much spiritually that living like that would make me uncomfortable. I can’t live like that and still say me and my God will have a good relationship. My God does not approve of sex outside marriage you see and pretending he is fine with me boinking girls here and there for the rest of my life would be stupid and dangerous for me (Revelation 21:8).

So I do not want to get married for marriage to me seems tiresome, burdensome and wearisome to the soul. But if I don’t I know for a fact I will fall into sin again and again because of my sexual appetite. I know for a fact I won’t get a quiet life in marriage like I always wanted so yeah I hate the idea. I haven’t yet made up my mind as to what is the best thing for me to do. But if I marry I will do so out of respect for you Jehovah, that I may not live a life that is displeasing to you. I will give up my freedoms and desires for a quiet, fun-filled, adventurous bachelorhood just so I can live at peace with you, for that is the only way for me to live, I will have it no other way. So I will marry against my better judgment out of respect for you!