Men and Women Relationships

The relationship between men and women is a funny thing. It can only be described as a cycle that will see no end and will always lead to disaster should men and women continue to relate to each other the way they do now.

The problem starts when you consider the fact that no man will accept a woman 100% as she is and vice versa. This is mostly because when a man and a woman meet for the first time they each already have preconceived ideas of the kind of man or woman they want to date. So knowing that they like this about their partner but not that they expect the other person to also think like they do, to like other parts of them but not others.

So a man will come to a woman and create an image of himself that he thinks the woman wants to see. Knowing women want security and the finer things in life the man will present himself as one who is reasonably well to do when in true fact he is but a beggar living under his parent’s roof.

On the other hand the woman will come to a man and will listen intently to what he is saying. What she is trying to do is to discern the kind of things the man likes in women. When she finds these out she will present herself as that idea of a perfect woman that man has.

What is happening here is that these two people, man and woman, are not showing each other their true selves. What they show is but 20% of who they truly are. Few men will carry this out for a long period of time; its simple, men quickly tire of pretending unless they have an ulterior motive. Women on the other hand are much more patient. They will keep on showing the man 20% of who they are and if they show more it wont add up to more than 40%.Its easy to understand, their fear is that should they show their all it will scare the other person away, and they are right to think so for it is true.

But do you see what is happening here? Let’s say both or one of these people go on pretending like this until finally they get married. Once people marry they get a sense of security that the person they are with is really safely theirs, I mean they went to church to prove it didn’t they? So then the one pretending lets their guard down. The union has been officiated for all to see so there is no more reason to worry about the safety of the relationship; the whole world knows that that man or woman is this man or woman’s property. So then all the hidden things start to come out, tired of pretending they let the whole 60% that was hidden out in the open for the other person to see.

You might think it’s good now that they are finally being honest but there is a problem with this. You see, the partner to the person pretending has gotten used to the 40% he was shown so the 60% that was hidden comes as a shock to him. And since it comes out as a whole it rocks them so badly making them regret the marriage. If that will happen to a marriage where one partner is pretending what do you think it will be like where both are pretending? It will be twice as bad, and from such kinds of revelations come broken marriages.

I’ve always thought it best to show the other person your 100%, that way they know what they are getting into beforehand and if they can’t manage they can leave. If they do however stay you are assured that since you showed them all of you they truly want you for who you are and all you are. This then blossoms love making it grow fonder and stronger as true love is prone to burning with the ferociousness of a fire.

What do we learn from all this then? Honesty is still the best policy. I guess Jehovah knew what he was doing when he said “though shall not lie”. For if you tell a lie today or act dishonestly to save a relationship, you are in fact destroying that same relationship even though you will get to discover this at a later date. 

What men and women do not completely comprehend is that you cannot keep up a façade, a lie or pretending for the rest of your life. You might be strong and determined or even motivated enough to do it for 2 years, 10 years or even 20 years, but you cant keep at it forever for the human soul at some point tires of it all and just wants to be normal, just wants to show its true self, just wants to be as it was created to be without a veil or curtain in some places.

I understand why men will pretend that they have a car when it is in fact borrowed. And I understand why a woman will pretend to be all nice and good mannered when in fact she is the devil’s sister when she opens her tongue. We all want to be accepted. But think of it this way, if the person you are with will not accept you the way you were born do they really love you? Let them prove their love for you by accepting you for the ugly things as well as the beautiful things that make you you.

Don’t cheapen yourself for a love that is not even pure. Love should be love 100%, no one should love you because you are pretending to be this or that. They should love you for who you are. That’s the best love and that’s what each and every one deserves including you, accept nothing less.