If all Women listened

By himself a man is relatively okay. In the presence of a woman, however, a man is an extremely evil being. The male vendors who started undressing women in Lilongwe were doing quite fine that day until one unfortunate woman crossed their paths and made them loose their senses. Such is the power of a woman.

“The way of a man with a virgin”, was one of the four amazing things that Agur a philosopher in the bible could not understand. That’s in Proverbs 30:1. In short what its saying is that a man who encounters a woman gets very crafty. In the presence of a lady a man’s intelligence increases ten times. He gets many ideas. He not only thinks of what he can do to her but also thinks of what she can do to him, what he can do with her, as well as what he can have her do. Of all these thoughts only 30% are honourable and respectable desires. Ladies be wary of the men who cross your path, not everything is as it seems.

There are men in this world who in appearance are quite very honourable. Such a man attends church regularly, dresses wonderfully and has a reasonably good job. He is careful that you only see his good side. He pleases you in the majority of the things he does. He promises to marry you and spend all eternity worshipping your feet. He sticks around for while, he invests time in getting to know you. Such a man you would readily present to your parents. Just as you get used to having him around he leaves. Later is when you realize he only left after tasting that which hides underneath your skirts. Yes men can be quite clever at strategizing and scheming.

Then there are men whom you meet in your desperate time of need. When you have a broken heart they are there. They listen to your sad stories and hold your hand as tears fill your eyes. They are shoulders to cry on, ever reliable and always ready with a comforting word. They make you feel much better and your pain less of a burden. But slowly they take advantage of your confusion and weakness. Without you realizing it they get you to a point where you trust them without question. Sooner or later they have gotten money off you and disappeared or even worse have undressed you and left, leaving you with an even bigger scar than before.

Then there are the men we have all heard of. Scoundrels. There are men who you will meet one day, who will listen to you worry about this and that and will make that problem go away. They will pay your school fees, they will pay your house rent and they will buy you groceries for the month. They will keep at it until you get to a point where you are so addicted and mesmerized with all that they are dong for you that you live in fear of the day all this will come to an end. When you start fearing the loss of such helps then they will come out to you and tell you how they are desperately in need of some sexual satisfaction, if they don’t just one day reach out and touch that is. Out of gratitude for all the gifts such a kind gentleman has given you, you give in thinking it’s only for that day. But these men are hard to satisfy, they come over and over again for more.

Even less honourable are those who take advantage of those people they are looking after in the home or in other ways. They seduce the sister to their wife by reasoning that since it is their roof they are living under it is only right that some gratitude be shown. They frighten a house maid into sleeping with them threatening that the job she has will be no more dare she say no. They claim a scholarship, work offer or some such work of charity will be withdrawn should a woman deny them their wishes.

Such men have hurt a lot of women in this world and most ladies are eternally scarred by such encounters thinking the worst of all men. You will do well to keep away from the paths of such as these. Fear not though, such men will be brought to account for they miss some important things in the law of Jehovah:

• Those who come close to women and pretend to be friends to them but only with intentions to use them, defile them and throw them away are liars “and all liars will find themselves in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur”(Revelations 21:8). This lake of fire is in hell and so too will all thieves find themselves there.

• Those who mistreat those people under their care will be judged. It is written: "Do not mistreat an alien [those under your care who have put their trust in you] or oppress him… "Do not take advantage of a widow or an orphan.  If you do and they cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry. My anger will be aroused, and I will kill you with the sword; your wives will become widows and your children fatherless (Exodus 22:21).

My fellow men: Give unto all who ask of you without expecting nothing in return. It is written “But love your [neighbours], do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High...(Luke 6:35).

 A true gift is given free, from the heart, and anyone who expects payment for the good deed he has done is being disobedient to the instructions in the laws of Yahweh. Give not unless you are sure you give willingly with no strings attached, that is the perfect, noble and honourable way for a man to behave.

Nevertheless ladies, do not let your hearts grow cold and bitter because of such experiences. Bitterness will only make your life miserable rather than allow you to live free, experience joy and the warmth of love and affection. If you hold on to bitterness you are refusing to forgive and doesn’t the word of God command us to forgive those who do wrong to us?

Not all men are wicked, good men still exist in this world! They will treat you with the respect you deserve, love you in righteousness and truth and stand by you through thick and thin. When a man loves a woman she is the single most important thing to him, he will do anything to keep her happy and any disappointments will be by accident. You can even in this day meet a good man. But how do you know he is good? Listen to his heart.

No matter how much a man pretends his heart will always give him away because that’s the one thing he can’t control. When you listen to his heart what you are looking to see is the warmth of it. Does goodness, kindness, warmth, love and peace flow from him naturally or are they missing in his heart? Does he generally seem to be forcing himself to be nice and warm? Does he always seem to be up to something? Does he seem to be generally sincere in all that he does concerning you (not only in some but in all)?

When you listen closely you will hear it, yes you will find an answer. Something within you convicts you and gives you confidence that you can trust the man. But with others something strongly says no or there is a slight doubt when you weigh the man. When there is a slight doubt it’s when you need to be careful. Still, out of a 1000 women not even 1 is righteous (Ecclesiastes 7.28). I have proven that to be true. So maybe I am warning the wrong gender, maybe man has met his match after all.