Should I marry that One?

I once dated a girl that was close to perfect. She was honest and never pretended to be more than she was. She didn’t play mind games, she was patient and was a peacemaker. She loved talking to me 24/7. She cared about my family and had a good relationship with them. She loved me more than I had ever thought was possible in this world and even more than I can ever hope to be loved in this lifetime. She had dignity and was Godly. Our hearts synched like it was designed by the hand of God for us to fit together. She was the model wife, you could trust her to make you a happy husband and make your house a home, presentable and welcoming to you and all others.

To this day I still maintain that out of all the women I have dated before she is the only one I would marry without thinking twice. She was that good. But as lovely as she sounds how do you know this is the right person to settle with? How do you decide to spend the rest of your days with this one girl forsaking all others? If you want the marriage to work you will worry about making a choice you will not regret for the rest of your life. But how do you make the right decision? What makes you make the right decision?

If you are ever in such a situation there are two things you need to look at that will help you make the right decision.

The first thing you have to look at is your ‘Physical side’. Because of a delay in the coming of the person of your dreams in your life, or circumstances, most people just marry the person most convenient or nearest. But one thing you need to ask yourself is this: Is your heart content with the person you are with or does it want more? When I say content I mean will you look at him or her and say that’s everything I want and nothing more, I will take the whole package good and bad included wholeheartedly?

Most people take this for granted and say it doesn’t really matter. They will marry someone who has something they hate about them. But chances are that if there is something that usually discomforts you about the person you are with then you are not completely satisfied with them. Make no mistake, if you are not completely satisfied with what you see then you will never be truly happy because that thing will continue to nag you, worry you and cause you to wonder if you did the right thing for the rest of your life. When you can say that you will marry a person even with those broken teeth then your heart is content with them. When you are content with them you can marry them with no reservations and with all your heart.

The second thing you will have to look at in order to make the right decision on whether or not that person is a suitable marriage partner for you is the ‘Spiritual side’. Here you will, after having seen that your heart is happy with your choice, pray that God shows you whether the person you are with is the one he created for you. No matter how perfect your partner might appear in your eyes he might not be the one out of whose rib God created you from and vice versa, only God knows such things. Also no matter how righteous and loving a person may appear you can never really see what’s in their hearts. Since you can not see in their hearts you never truly know how far you will go with them or whether they are sincere.

So you should pray that God will reveal to you the truth about this person, whether you should marry him or not. In some cases people who have prayed have later discovered that the man they were planning to marry has 3 girlfriends in three different cities. Others have started to notice something that they did not notice before about the woman they loved, that she has an evil temper or she has no idea about how to be a wife.

The spiritual side of this decision, like the physical side, is often neglected or taken too lightly. But truth is you can’t trust yourself to make the right decision. When it is so then you have a lot of questions and a lot of doubts about the union and its future. These are only questions that can be answered perfectly for you by Jehovah. Think of it, wouldn’t you rather have God endorse and approve of the person you intend to marry than just take the risk of marrying them and finding out later when the marriage has broken down?

This is not a formula to help you know whether you are marrying the right person or not, this is just a guide to help you make that decision you will have to live with for the rest of your lives. It’s never easy coming to the right answer. But when you are true to your heart and God has shown you what he thinks of your plans then you can plunge into marriage boldly knowing that it will be sunny and it will rain. Or you can let go of the wrong person firmly knowing that it would never have worked and would have only ended in sorrow for both or one of you therefore this is the best decision for all of you.

Always remember, the heart of man can make many plans but only God decides which of them he will actually accomplish and which he will never even start working on. It is written “In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps (Proverbs 16:9 NIV ©1984). A variation of this says “Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails (Proverbs 19:21 NIV ©1984). I wish you luck in the decisions you must make, for some it will be easy for others extremely difficult. May Jehovah guide you forward rather than your own imperfect judgment that is based on a heart that can change emotions in a heartbeat and wants what is bad for it while neglecting the good.