Plans He has for Me

This is my testimony for 2017. Ordinarily I would not write this but I have come to find that when I write some get encouraged, others find comfort and some enlightenment and so for that reason, that it may help another to stand in faith in the face of impossible odds I have to speak. If this offends those who took part in the story then I apologize but I am a servant of God first and foremost then of man second, my duty I will do.

We had corporate restructuring at work this year, which is a glorified term for job cuts on a major scale. It was said that we would lose 40-50% of staff as some jobs were erased and others combined. For those whose jobs were combined it was said they would compete for the remaining job. So if in a department of three there only remained one job then the three people would compete for that one job. Those who lost would go. News of this spread across the year for some 9 months or so and then it happened.

I was affected in that, as my boss put it, the two jobs in my department had been combined into one and my boss would be getting the job that remained. I had been preparing for the worst for 9 months or so therefore it wasn’t really that big a shock. The only problem with this outcome was that my boss and I have two different job titles and on the new structure, that was being used as a guideline for who would remain and who would go, it was my job title that was present and not my boss’.

For those of you who may have little experience on how corporate restructuring is supposed to work it goes like this. A new organizational structure is proposed which is basically the old one after its been trimmed, changed and with new additions inserted. This is then approved by a board of directors after which it is implemented. If your job title is on the structure your position has survived the job cuts and if it is not then am afraid the company does not have a place for you anymore.

So now when someone tells me there is no place for me yet the new structure says different I become suspicious. Wouldn’t you be? And where there are two positions which have been combined into one its said that the two of you will have to compete for the remaining post, yet in this case no competition was mentioned and it was as if it had just been handed to my boss. Sure enough I got a letter which I am still keeping with me to this day to the effect that my job had been “affected”.

Now that the letter made official what had been said by my boss, with my suspicions in hand and words of advice from two or three people, I had to ask what the hell is going on. The way I saw it, if they said I had to go still I was screwed and if I had to compete for it I was also screwed since the powers that be had already shown they had picked someone else. But I wasn’t going to leave without finding out what had happened first so I went to Human Resources (HR).

At HR I was told, in not so many words, that even though it was my job title that had survived they had been “instructed” that I was the one to go. They promised to find out what had happened and then get back to me. When they did get back to me they asked me to submit a formal complaint. This I did and it bought me another meeting with HR who, after submitting my formal complaint to those concerned, had been instructed that I had to compete with my boss for the position. And you know what that meant, I was screwed, for they had already picked their choice outside the interview process.

At this point is where I can safely say I started to see God move. What I love about the Holy Ghost is that he will show up when you least expect him to give you aid in thought, speech and deed. No I do not claim to be gifted with chess-move intelligence and neither am I gifted with eloquent speech. I had gone into the meeting resigned that if I was asked to compete I was as good as gone so I would not fight but would just see the process through and pack my bags then leave. And here was HR asking me to formally express interest in the position so I could attend interviews yet I found myself refusing to compete and in effect side-stepping the trap that had been laid before me.

As I saw it at the time it did not make much sense for me to compete for a job that I was already occupying at the time. Come on I had already interviewed for that position and won it some two years or so ago. On the other hand I was being asked to compete with a person whom management had already given the position that had my name on it to. So the interviews were just a smokescreen and a way to quietly get me out. These are not answers that I carried with me when I went in, and I don’t even now understand where they came from but because I know I am not that mentally quick or that bright I know it was inspired by something outside of me (Holy Spirit). HR took my refusal and submitted it and this bought me a meeting with the big dog himself, the head of the snake, power over all things great and small in the company.

In effect he told me that even though it was my job title indicated the position was not mine as it was a new post. I told him that even though he was saying that it looked to me to be my exact job title meaning I was entitled to it. Suffice to say we did not agree and he did not really like how I was seeing things so we held off the discussions to a later date. Some three weeks passed without any additional progress. Then I got a new letter informing me that nothing about my job had changed and things would return to normal. As I write this I am still employed, for however long that lasts. You make out of that what you will.

Throughout all this experience I had been praying for Gods guidance in all of this. I wished that his will would come to pass and not the will of men. I told him if he wished me to go I would. I got so strained by the process that I got to a point that I wanted to give up and just leave it all and go. But when human beings would have me go and give my job to each other, when even I would have me go He has kept me here. For this reason I have faith that each part of my life is in his hands and he is working it out for some purpose and he will not let people interfere with that purpose.

I do not write this to make enemies or to point fingers. I know for a fact some at work will not be pleased should they come across this and given the new work environment it may be to my disadvantage. But should we fear man or fear the one who gives life? Should we not speak of the one who has proven himself faithful to us when we called for help in our hour of need? If not this then what shall we give in gratitude for all he has done for me? I need not remind you that if the apostles had feared death the gospel would not have been spread and you would not have been saved. God has shown me that I can use my life examples to teach, to open eyes and touch hearts, all for his glory. And this I will not stop to do, if I perish I perish.

“Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth would care to know my name, Would care to feel my hurt?...I am a flower quickly fading, Here today and gone tomorrow, A wave tossed in the ocean, A vapor in the wind. Still you hear me when I'm calling, Lord, you catch me when I'm falling, And you've told me who I am. I am yours.”-Casting Crowns (Who am I).

Cast all your cares on him because he cares for you.