Judge the Spirits

I recently gave an old school mate from college the opportunity to stay in my house as the third member of my household, the second being another school mate from college who had at the time stayed with me for close to a month.

That night he moved in with his things we sat down and discussed how we would go about food, electricity and water bills, how we would share them as 50/50 as they can be shared between three people. Then we discussed how we would go about the chores around the home, how we would hire someone to do the errands, how each one would be responsible for his own cooking and how each one would have to clean up after themselves.

It was a nice arrangement, everyone agreed with the other and off we went to sleep. I woke up as usual the following morning, took my bath, creamed my skin, and got down to the business of that which I have set as a routine from the first day I started living alone to-date: kneeling down and praying(no matter how many sins I had, no matter the situation I am in).

The only problem this time is that my soul and Spirit were troubled. I could not point to a single thing as to what was troubling me so I tried going on with my prayers but alas I just could not do it, my Spirit was heavy within me, I was disturbed with having the new arrival in my home for some reason, filled with anguish and a sense of impending dread. In the midst of all these feelings I asked myself “Kondwani, What have you done?!!”

So I got off my knees and went out of my room, knocked on the door of one of the people under my roof

and told him we needed to talk. Then I proceeded to the new guy’s room and knocked on his door and told him we needed to speak. Then I proceeded to the sitting room in my bathing towel and t-shirt, the attire I have on me when I usually pray, and waited for them to come meet me.

Each one came, first the new guy then the guy I had had with me for some time. I spoke slowly, from the heart and proceeded to explain to them both that I did not feel at peace for some reason and for the first time I had failed to pray because of it (sometimes I have no peace but still manage a few words of prayer). Then I told the new guy that following this experience I “thought it best if he found himself someplace else to live”…

Let’s pause there for a while, to some I am being paranoid for nothing, some do not understand why I am sending the new guy away and not the old one, and others do not see what is going on, they do not understand.

I will take you all to the last supper where Jesus is talking to his disciples and each is asking Him which of them will give him up to be killed. “Is it me master?”, several of them ask and the Lord says no. Then Jesus proceeds to point out to them the one who would do the deed even though it was in a cryptic manner.

Continuing with my story I continue with a question to you the reader: “how did Jesus know which of them it would be enough to accurately point him out?” For the Bible does not say the person would have it written on their forehead. And nobody had met with Jesus to tell him which of them it would be.

The answer to this question I believe is that Jesus knew through his Spirit. Going back to my story I can ably say I had lived with one of the two for three weeks without experiencing discomfort of any sort, and we had even gotten past the uneasiness that strangers have around each other just fine. So what was it this time, what had changed? The answer I can still see clearly in my mind’s eye is that the only thing that had changed was the introduction of this new person into the house. And my Spirit refused to live with him and so he would have to be the one to go. What was it that he had done wrong? I have no idea but my Spirit refused to have him in the house any longer than was necessary.

It was not a tangible thing I could touch or pinpoint, I just knew that the Spirit within me was not happy and if I let things be I would be unhappy in my own home. So I acted, even though it hurt me to do it, even though I did not like putting myself nor him in such a situation I had to obey the Spirit that warred and caused havoc within me.

The Spirit of the Lord lives within each of us. It gives courage where none is, wisdom where knowledge is lacking and discernment to those who will listen. It is the Spirit within Jesus that told him it was none other than Judas Iscariot who would turn him over to be killed. 

The Spirit acts to warn us of many things, it is up to us to act or not, to be bold and act or cower in fear and

refuse to take charge of things. But know you this, if you disregard the Spirit you might lead yourself into harm’s way. Looking back I have come to observe that the person I turned out of my house might have lived with me just fine for quite some time but his ways, behavior and character were those that could eventually poison mine: he has the tongue of a snake, the ways of a monkey, the friendliness of a cheetah which will observe you for a while and then come in for the kill, and the cunning of the devil who knows the hymns that are sung in heaven like the back of his hand. His honesty I know not for he changes his words to suit the way the wind blows and speaks nothing from the heart but that which is in agreement with the season. Yes he has an answer for every question, just like the thief, and skilled liar.

It is written, “drive out the mocker, and out goes strife; quarrels and insults are ended (Prov 22:10). And “Don’t befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul (Prov 22:25) lest you also learn his ways.”  I have and had no intention of being like him and so my decision though a cause for discomfort at first, I will firmly stand by. I might live to regret it several times to come, but as for now I have peace within my Spirit. My soul is already corrupt, I do not need it to be corrupted even much more than that for if It is damaged much further I will definitely lose it. And what will it benefit a man to gain the whole world and loose his soul?

The Spirit is known to you, it is a real deep feeling within your heart, that which causes you to regret when after sinning you know you should not have done what you had done. If we listen to it perhaps then our souls might be saved. Judge the spirits it is written (1 John 4:1), judge the spirits I say unto you. In every situation, every person, in ever way. And seek the path that your Spirit finds peace with for that is God’s way of giving direction to your life. Peace be upon you, and the Spirit of God be with you. One love. 

PS: I wrote this in one sitting after several months of drought in which I had failed to write a single thing, so even his coming across my life was not in vain. Yes God has created everyone for himself, even the wicked for the day of destruction (even this situation to jolt me back into serving the Kingdom). Praise the Lord, I have been restored to serving at the King’s table.- 24/10/2013.

“Anafunsa mmodzi  mmodzi, ‘kodi ndi ine’. Ayi! X 3

Inde ndiwe amene udampeleka ambuye Yesu”

- Chinamwali CCAP Choir