Fight for Us!

When you find your wife or husband in bed with another man or woman there’s only two ways you can react. You can either loose it and beat the Bloody Mary’s out of the guy trying to fit into your shoes or you can be overwhelmed with shock and just decide to leave. The next step after this though must be thought out very carefully before you take it.

Suppose you decide to pack your things and leave the marriage. Biblically you are within your rights to leave  as the bible allows you to divorce a cheating spouse(Matthew 19:9), my interpretation. But before you leave ask yourself, if you are so ready to leave the life you had with your partner, all the things you have been through together just like that then was that relationship worth anything to you at all?

As painful as it is to catch your other half being pleasured by a stranger, or even a familiar face, if the life you built with that person is of value to you and you cherish the memories, experiences, achievements, company, that place you call home, a place of your own then you will stay and fight for it with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your spirit. After all that you have shared and have been through with your partner are you just going to give in and let someone else have them without a fight? Just let go without a struggle? If you are, do you really care as much as you say you do about your relationship with the other person ?

 

People cheat for various reasons. Sometimes you are absent from the relationship and they feel like they are all alone so they need company. Others simply do it out of folly, to see what it’s like or to experience something different. And with others it just happens, even when they did not mean it to they find themselves in the arms of another, by chance per se.  While usually it is a reflection of you as a person, that you don’t love enough, don’t have enough fire in bed or are not a friend to them, at other times it isn’t about you at all. I have proven that you can do the best you can, love so hard, be the best of friends and care for your spouse, really working hard at making it work and still you will find your partner cheating on you.

In a perfect world cheating would not happen at all in marriages or relationships but this is an imperfect world where you can anger your spouse enough to fall out of love with you or go out and do something reckless in just 2 minutes. So if you find someone else in your bed with your partner do not be quick to judge nor let your broken heart let go of such a beautiful thing as family that easily.

Firstly, find out what the problem is. Doubtless there will be tension at first when you face your spouse on the subject but you will have to be strong, nothing worth having and of great value comes easy. Just brace yourself and ask them to tell you what you are doing wrong, what you are not doing right and what you are not doing at all. Most people caught cheating realize at that exact moment they are caught that their marriage or relationship is more valuable than the fling they are having. Therefore most people caught cheating are anxious to save their marriage. Consequently they will be quite willing to answer your questions. Anyone frustrated with their marriage will be more than happy to pour their heart out at that moment and give an excuse for why they were doing what they were not supposed to be doing. So work with what they say and try to improve the areas that need improving.

But then you find in some situations that you are not even the problem, you are already doing everything perfect so even if you tried you wouldn’t be able to make things better. This usually happens where the one person cheating is bored with the other and just wants a change. Some people can be cured of this, others cannot and others don’t want to be cured. If your partner doesn’t even want to try fix things then perhaps its best you let go. Of course the vows say ‘till death do us part’ but remember you caught them cheating and you are allowed to leave here. Even if you stay you can’t row the marriage boat by yourself, it takes two willing hearts.

Some of you just need to weigh your hearts. There are others who can go on with a cheating spouse as if nothing ever happened. Then there are others who won’t forget the time they caught their spouse under or above some naked body till their dying day. Be true to yourself, if you are going to be bitter with the person you are married to, and have caught cheating, for the rest of your life then leave. If you can forgive and forget then good for you.

Whatever you do, do not take the cheating acts of your spouse as an excuse for you to run away from your marriage,  that is very cowardly and really not honourable, shame on you! Face the problem head-on, you never know what will turn out. What your spouse is saying when he or she is cheating could simply be ‘fight for me, show me you still care and that I still mean something to you’. Or they are saying ‘treat me better, love me more, be my friend, respect me, honour me’. If it can be fixed then good and if it’s too broken to be fixed don’t stick the pieces back together with glue or cello tape, it’s not pretty and is never the same.

Now that I have told all I know let me trap you all with this last bit of knowledge. It is written plainly and simply in the word of God “Forgive men their sins”. In other words we are required to forgive people all the sins they commit against us and that includes cheating or adultery. Remember always that Jehovah himself says unto you ‘ if you forgive men their sins, I will forgive you yours’ if you do not forgive men their sins against you how can your heavenly Father in heaven forgive you? How many times should we forgive it was asked long ago and the answer given was 70 X 7 times. In other words more times than you can record or remember, infinitely, endlessly.

I do not condone cheating nor do I promote it. If you have a problem with your spouse then don’t be a coward, work it out and together ask God to help improve your marriage. Do not be deceived “God will judge the adulterer and the sexually immoral”, in other words the cheater. Most of you want a good marriage but aren’t prepared to work for it, talk through the problems and strive to make it work. How foolish you are, you just waste other people’s precious time.