Women are Liars by Necessity

Life, tradition and circumstances among other things naturally condition women to lie. A best case scenario that shows this clearly is this: when a guy sleeps with 10 women he is considered a true male but when a woman does the same she is frowned upon and considered loose. A good reputation is a valuable asset to women you know. So when asked how many men the woman has slept with she will answer 3 so that she will appear to be a good woman even if the number really is 7.

It’s like the expectations of society buried in tradition pressure her into telling this lie. Circumstances also pressure her into being dishonest; I mean there are 3 out of 10 men that a woman will admit to her self are good men worthy enough to settle with, do you expect her to tell 1 of these 3 that she has slept with more than 5 men? Won’t it just drive him away in fear that she is a ‘galatchana’ or whore?

And these women don’t just lie by the things that they say with their mouths, they lie with their actions and their looks. Some pretend to like to drink and go clubbing so that they can appear more fun. 90% of women lie with their looks by making up, elongating their hair with weaves and trying to make everything look perfect when in real life they are imperfect beings. I don’t blame them; I would like to go out with a girl who is fun and looks right and neat. So I accept the responsibility along with other men for making every girl feel they have to meet those expectations of perfection from us men.

The picture gets more complicated though when you consider the fact that by the nature of our tradition Malawian women do not propose to men. Let’s assume then that every girl is asked out every two weeks by a minimum of 7 men. Out of these 7 men only 2 are guys she would consider marrying, and both of them aren’t good enough for one reason or another.  With those odds women are forced to be pretentious. They are careful not to act in a way that will drive their man away, they are careful to not say anything that will scare the man away.  They say yes when they mean no.

Time also let these women down. Some of these women’s clocks have ticked and they gotta get married soon or they will be considered too old to marry by most men. Plus consider that every year newer and younger models of their kind come up to compete with them. So they tell a man who is nowhere near their dream guy that he is everything they want just so he can marry them, a necessary lie it would seem. This is further compounded by the pressure women, unlike men, feel when 70% of their friends and age group are married and are expecting a baby. This is in no way helped by nosy relatives who come up and notify you that so and so got married and then ask you when you are getting married. Men can easily shrug it off, but for women it’s not so easy. They also want a baby and a family of their own.

The point I am raising is not that I approve of women telling lies, for one of the 10 commandments in the Holy Bible is ‘thou shall not lie’. Neither am I saying that I approve of women who sleep around, for a true Christian woman knows that having sex with her boyfriend is fornication and sleeping with a married man is adultery. Make no doubt about it friends, ‘God will not let sin go unpunished’ and so all adulterers and fornicators will have  their place in the Lake of Fire in hell so says the word of God and Jehovah does not lie so you can expect him to hold us all to account for our actions like his word has promised.

Before I say what I gotta say to you women in Malawi, the point am trying to put across is that I understand that life gets you so stuck in expectations, traditions, rules and the like that sometimes the best thing for you to do is lie.

That said, I feel instead of trying to please all men around you by doing things to appear perfect in the eyes of all of them you really only need to worry about pleasing two types of men: the Godly man and the good man.

The first choice of a large percentage of women is to marry a Godly man, a man who fears God and keeps away from sin which includes chasing other women, wife-beating and the like. It is expected that the man who fears God will be a good leader for the family being planned for. The Godly man though will expect you women to be the woman described in Proverbs 31:10, he is quick to spot fakes and if he finds out that you are throwing lies and deceptions his way he will drop you like an extremely hot frying pan at the most opportune time.

Some women do not get to marry the Godly man since he is a much sought after commodity or because of circumstances. Therefore, they settle for a good man. This is the kind of guy who seems nice, who knows of God and respects Him properly but without getting too involved in things of the church. Nevertheless his reputation is clean, his conduct is commendable and he treats the woman the way she wants to be treated, he is basically a good guy. Because he is a good man and is able to keep bad behavior and things far from his life he will expect his woman to have a good character as well. If this is not clearly there he also will drop you fast but at the most convenient time for the both of you.

I hope what all this shows is that the only thing you need to worry about is keeping your character and personality as close as possible to the standards of God as expressed in the Holy Bible. If you do that a Godly man will quickly notice this and all good men will appreciate it. And to these men who appreciate a woman for character, dignity, honour and personality there is no need for women to lie, they will take you the way you are, flaws and good parts combined.

Keep your hearts pure, your mouths clean, your behavior worthy of the children of God and your personality natural. They say good men are hard to find. It has been my experience that a good woman who is truly Godly is just as hard to find as well. So when one finds such a woman, she is treasured far more than gold or anything else that a man seeks in this world for her value exceeds no bounds. The Holy Spirit will tell you whether I speak truth or not. You may now comment below kikikiki.