I have suicidal tendencies. Don’t
get me wrong, when I say that I don’t mean I want to hang myself with a rope on
a tree, jump in front of a speeding truck, drink poison, or simply drown
myself. I just want to die. Sometimes anyway.
Life tires me. I get tired of
waking up every day to go to work, of pretending to listen to people who are
less intelligent than me. I get tired of pretending I am interested in the
world and how things work, of listening to the radio or TV telling us how
wicked men can be to each other. I get tired of my sins, of repenting of them,
then going back to do what I said I wouldn’t, and starting the cycle all over
again.
